Suspend disbelief - have an adventure
Jake & Chearice: Homecoming
“Jake, I’ve got a problem I need you
to take care of,” Tyson said from the entrance to Jake’s cubicle. Jake looked
up at the eight-foot-tall sasquatch leaning against the wall. Tuesday was right
on schedule. Problems always started on a Tuesday, and were resolved by Friday
unless it was a major problem. That might take a couple of weeks.
it likely to get me killed?” Jake asked. Jake was the only human in the
Department of Interdimensional Affairs. He was a Project Officer responsible
for monitoring, overseeing, and enforcing interdimensional policies and
programs. Usually, his job meant briefing people about situations that somebody
else would have to deal with, but lately Jake ended up being the go-to guy with
a blaster strapped to his hip.
would you ask that?”
every time you have a problem I end up in a life-or-death situation,” Jake
one,” Tyson laughed.
phones,” Jake answered immediately.
only two,” Tyson laughed again, though a little less enthusiastically.
son’s carrier day at public school,” Jake sited.
wasn’t my fault.”
I’m saying is that when you have a problem I end up in the hospital. I’ll deal
with your situation. I’d just like to know what I’m getting into. So, is it
likely to get me killed? On a scale of one to ten, where one is a stubbed toe
and ten is certain death, how much danger am I in?”
maybe like a five point five,” Tyson suggested.
six with rounding.”
there’s a sixty percent chance I’m going to die,” Jake stated.
the problem?” Jake ended the debate.
and Mu-Three have been at war for decades,” Tyson said. “They’re ready to bury
you want me to deliver the hatchet?” Jake asked.
asked for impartial arbitrator and advisor on the peace process. You were specifically
requested by both sides.”
The Lupine trust you because Sabre-Claw is one of the more important tribes and
you were they leader for a brief though unapproved time.”
was not my fault,” Jake said.
you concede that sometimes, like at a job fair, shit happens that isn’t
I agree, in principle, that you were not responsible for one of the several
near-death experiences you’ve sent me to. Why do the cats want me?”
don’t know,” Tyson admitted. “Your name came up and they agreed. Normally this
would be assigned to someone much senior, but both sides want you. Try not to
fuck it up.”
two dimensions that have been at war for the better part of a century suddenly
want peace. There’s something going on you’re not telling me.”
told you everything,” Tyson said.
there’s something they’re not telling us. Let me do some research.”
your team ready,” Tyson advised.
team?” Jake asked.
three people is a team.”
just me and Juno, and she’s only here for the rest of the term. She’s a
I forgot to mention. I’m assigning you a new partner. That makes three of you.
That’s a team, all be it a small one. This,” he ushered a lanky silver furred
cat into the cube who had been behind the wall, “is Miss Whiskers. She’s your
expert on Mu-Three. Your task is to ensure interdimensional peace between
violent rivals with a blood feud going back centuries. Get on it.” Tyson left
while Jake and Miss Whiskers stared at each other for a moment.
not planning on killing me, are you?” Jake asked.
she answered. “Why would you even ask such a thing?”
last partner Tyson assigned me shot me in the back and then tried to kill me a
second time when I went after him.”